| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2009|10:13 pm] |
every day on blogs and microblogs alike i read posts from my friends referring to their girlfriends in such manners as "my woman" or "the girl" or "my old lady" .....its something that is so common but i guess because i see it so frequently, every day, its making me really irritated and i just keep thinking "THEY HAVE NAMES"
if i had a boyfriend and i referred to him on a daily basis as "my boo"......would you (guys) get annoyed? well if i were referred to as "boo" i wouldnt mind because its the best word ever. however to me it seems the 3 previously mentioned names "my woman, the girl, my old lady" are almost derogatory. and at the same time, "my man" or "the boy" ...for some reason dont strike me as being as bad. is it because im a girl and i cant see the male point of view? or because i think that guys actually like being referred to as "my man" because it makes them feel strong |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009|10:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
exactly two weeks to go till vacation time! berlin, im SO FUCKING OVER IT right now, cant wait to get home for a little while...away from all the bureaucracy bull caca. now i DO need to change my health insurance...and its mandatory that i add pregnancy coverage (mandatory for all women, even if youve had a hysterectomy apparently) and dental..which will double my insurance cost. i wish these people would make up their minds
and on top of that im super busy with work....preparing all my classes for their final exams, doing special seminars, substituting for other people and waitressing at the ambassadors on friday. definitely regretting taking these two substitutions and the waitressing job but i just need to put as much money in my bank as possible to impress the ausländerbeheader. and who knows if after all this, it will still be enough.
after talking to rick tonight im jealous of his easy going life he's been having in düsseldorf. *thinks of moving to düsseldorf* did i mention the weather right now sucks balls too? heres a nice video for you.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2009|03:53 pm] |
OH MY GODDDDDDDDD i just tried to change my health insurance so i could have the right kind for when i go back for my second visa appointment. and the guy told me it IS the right one, and the people at the visa office are just confused because of all the new health laws and the lady i saw didnt know what she was talking about. and i have to now bring a new more detailed letter with me, and possibly a girl from my health insurance company to defend that my policy is sufficient.
the ausländerbehörde sucks. it really does just depend on who you talk to at the office and what kind of day they are having. theres no way to know what health insurance is right or wrong, because everyones (freelancers that i know/work with) is different and everyone has been told different things by the visa office. its pure luck. IM SCARED. my lady was nice..but i have a feeling this time around if i bring a health insurance representative with me things are gonna get ugly.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
malachai represents germany. just replace "outlander" with "ausländer" and im linda hamilton. getting my butt kicked by children of the corn but hopefully i should be back to take revenge in T2
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|11:53 pm] |
i love my new desktop
no work tomorrow! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2009|07:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Germany, Berlin | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | musica antiqua- night spirits | ] |
And moving through a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
"I am half sick of shadows" |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|06:28 pm] |
ok ive calmed down since my last post about not getting my visa so i can take the time to explain what happened in more detail now. i did in fact get rejected for my visa renewal. and i did in fact cry in front of all of the visa office workers at the very end..all of my stress, frustration, and defeat completely overwhelming me at that moment..... but, it didnt work. those germans are tough and no amount of girly tears would make them budge. i had insufficient health insurance, and they sent me away with a 2 month extension and instructions to get new (twice as expensive) insurance and bring back that paperwork on january 19th. and hopefully when i go back in january, everything else will be fine and i will be able to get my goddamn piece of paper in my passport. ass monkeys
i would also like to remind you that if you, or a friend of yours is dreaming about spending christmas and new years in this city, you should rent my room because it will be available (awesome fat kitty included) from december 7th- january 7th. you will rent my room....you will give me your money.....
heres the view from my window. it gets dark at 4pm now. thats so depressing. and the way my cat snores really scares me
merlin is by far the best show, my favorite show ever, everything i could possible dream about in an escape from reality, and im so grateful to the bbc for creating such a masterpiece. and now i want to go back to cornwall and glastonbury even more...(i watched the entire first season right before i went the first time in july)
doing my "pre-reading" and studying for when i go back to school is harder than i imagined because now i am forced to develop firm stances on things that i could never decide upon. and im discovering new theories that just completely throw me for a loop and make me rethink everything. i spend all of my free time reading things that make my mind go in circles. its exciting and frustrating at the same time. i wonder if being a libra will be my defeat or my triumph
how much direct action do i need to be taking to get what i want in life, and how much will be done on its own?
im thinking a lot about my family and how i just cant wait to see them in 4 weeks. i cant believe it will have been almost a year and half since ive been gone. ive never gone that long without seeing my family. i mean, after a while you start to lose track of how much time actually goes by and it doesnt seem like that long. it really hasnt been that hard for me. but when i really think about it, it HAS been a fucking long time. im not even going to recognize my little sister. and i feel like everyone else will look pretty different too. and i wonder how i will look to them, if i will look older, or ..wiser mwahaha. anyways, i cant wait to see my baby boo
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|05:14 pm] |
wow just watching this video for the first time and its exactly what i had imagined in my head whenever i listen to this song. that has never happened before!
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| zanger bob |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|02:29 pm] |
i just found this attack attack parody video and then was thrust into a whole new magical world of "zanger bob"
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|04:08 pm] |
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i did not get my visa, and my job is over a week late paying me AGAIN. ready to kill |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 1st, 2009|09:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  scared shitless | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ramones- pet semetary | ] |
i managed to enjoy myself on halloween despite being plagued by fears of my visa office appointment. a bunch of friends came over all dressed up and we cooked a crap load of (vegan) food.. hot dogs, pizzas, pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, brownies, cookies, pumpkin waffles...and made ourselves sick while watching drag me to hell, the exorcist, (i dont wanna be buried in a) pet semetary, and house of 1000 corpses. i couldnt get my stupid remote to work so we had to watch pet semetary and 1000 corpses in german. pretty entertaining actually
this picture of jadwiga is hilarious
and heres me with my mooninite
right now im getting all of my paperwork ready for tomorrow...d-day...in about 12 hours i will know the answer to the question thats been driving me insane for the past month. will i be allowed to stay in berlin, or will i have to go back to the US? stay tuned to find out |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 28th, 2009|05:47 pm] |
these are not dick enlargers
-guitar
-drum sticks
-mic
-skateboard
-snowboard |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|07:59 pm] |
one of my favorite songs just came on my itunes and it just struck this chord and i really felt the need to write down this memory i have with this song. i had just turned 22...new york city was still new and exciting to me... my roommates and i went to morrissey night at sway every monday down in the lower east side. this was another monday night, and nicollette had befriended a scottish couple who happened to be visiting for the week. i didnt talk to them much because i was dancing the whole night. as the after hours started to creep in and the bar emptied out...nicollette and her two friends were at the bar chatting away and i was left on my own to wander about. finally i gave up and went to take a seat next to the others who had given up dancing for the night. as soon as i sat down, "eye in the sky" by the alan parsons project came on. (this has been a favorite of mine since my dad gave me the cassette tape when i was 8). i was so shocked to hear it come on, i jumped up screaming "i love this song!!" i got ready to make my way to the empty dance floor and have one last dance..with myself. and the scottish guy said "ill dance with you!" me: "really?? fuck yea lets go!" and we went out there by ourselves...while his girlfriend chatted away with nicollette and i kept thinking "i hope she doesnt get mad at me" and "he is so dreamy...despite the cigarette in his left hand." he wore dress pants, a slightly opened collared shirt and a dress jacket over it...nothing i like but at that moment it was so right and he made it work so well. i just happened to be wearing a dress that night and it flowed so beautifully as we danced and twirled around each other, never touching..at that perfect distance where we were really dancing, for real. and he danced SO well. it was so perfect, so cinematic, and i kept hanging on to ever chord, every lyric... never wanting that song to end.
after that, the dj closed up shop, we went back and found the others and then went home. we were supposed to hang out again while they were visiting...i dont remember what happened, i think nicollette lost the number or something. so we never saw them again. i dont even remember his name. all i remember is that one perfect moment. like it wasnt even real, just a dream. but that dream becomes so vivid and clear again, every time i hear this song
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|11:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | hell | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | nervous | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nofx- falling in love | ] |
im going out of my fucking mind. i cant believe only a week has passed..its been the longest week ever..and i still have 2 more to go. and what pisses me off the most is that this is my favorite month..everything is so pretty and colorful and halloween is coming up soon. but i cant enjoy it because im too busy racking my brain over something i have absolutely no control over at this point. how do i keep my mind off of it?? i read all day long...study...but it doesnt really help. im trying to remember what it was like last year, and i wonder if this time around its better or actually more stressful. i guess its the same..i dunno. because just like this time last year, i have absolutely no motivation to leave the house or hang out with friends. just stay in my room...read...watch law and order..repeat.
last year at the old apartment i had the heavy wooden blinds on the windows that kept all light out of my room when they were pulled down. i would stay up all night, till 7am when alex was getting up for work..watching episodes of the wonder years and daria on youtube..and then i would try to get through a little bit of war and peace, which around the middle of book 1 always succeeded in making me pass the fuck out. ( i must have redone that section a million times.) i would then sleep all day...my room staying dark the whole time because of the heavy blinds. then stay up all night, eating whole boxes of cereal and watching tv again. i guess at least i dont have to camp outside the visa office in the freezing cold again.
fuck i need to go to sleep so i can get up and work in the morning. how can i keep my sanity until november 2nd?? i wish david was still here :( other david comes on friday for a week...i guess he can help me by cooking me lots of awesome food every day :) gahhhhh. goodnight |
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| edit |
[Oct. 17th, 2009|03:40 pm] |
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i have never felt more like have no control over my immediate future than i do right now |
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| gleep glop glorp |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|01:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | queen latifah- u.n.i.t.y. | ] |
i hate the feeling that comes at the end of a good visit from someone i care about...from an old friend, love or family member.. even if the visit is only a day or two, i develop an attachment...and after the person leaves, i feel like my other half is gone. i say goodbye, go back to my house..and everything is as it was before, empty..that lonely sinking feeling comes into my chest, and i sit on my bed and i think "ok, they're gone..its so quiet...what do i do now?" i struggle hard but finally find the motivation to go back to my daily real world routine with my responsibilities and my struggles.. and soon it feels normal again
right now im looking for that motivation. i have to do work, and i have to get my fucking shit together for the visa office. i was just reminded yesterday that i am supposed to be working for more than one company in order to be a freelancer...that completely escaped my mind this whole past year and so ive only been working for the one company because i make enough money just doing that. but yea..we will see what they say about that. ughhhhhhhhhhh. i feel totally exhausted right now. falling asleep as i type this |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2009|05:18 pm] |
exactly
.....
...
...
DAVIDS HERE!
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2009|01:34 pm] |
i love you
im getting nervous because its almost time to renew my visa- i have one month to try to get approved by the tax office and get all appropriate paperwork. it sucks that i have to worry about this during my favorite time of the year, with this beautiful fall weather! argghh. ive started doing waiter jobs at the u.s. ambassadors house (mansion) for special dinner events. maybe if i get rejected by the visa office he will help me get one. hes from jersey. im working a ton right now. i went from not working at all during the summer to pretty much doing nothing but work. i hope i get my visaaaa.
zach from ny is living here right now. i cant wait to eat some pizza. i played singstar at my friends house the other day...the karaoke of rock band.
for my 26th i got arthritis in my hip and a facercise dvd! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2009|01:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | crampy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | lady gaga- paparazzi remix | ] |
i started a new blog project on animal welfare...im hoping over the next few years it will turn into something notable for my law school app- right now theres obviously not much happening but go check it out and comment and help me pick up some momentum so i can get people to want to do interviews for me! AND it would be great if you ever wanted to contribute anything like an opinion essay on any animal related topic...or if you know people who would make good interview candidates. right now my first interview will be an animal trainer- specifically a trainer at a birds of prey center. got any questions you want me to ask her? let me know!!!!!! thanks and may god save us all from the firey pits of hell
http://animaldebate.com/
http://animaldebate.com/
http://animaldebate.com/
http://animaldebate.com/ |
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