| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|06:28 pm] |
ok ive calmed down since my last post about not getting my visa so i can take the time to explain what happened in more detail now. i did in fact get rejected for my visa renewal. and i did in fact cry in front of all of the visa office workers at the very end..all of my stress, frustration, and defeat completely overwhelming me at that moment..... but, it didnt work. those germans are tough and no amount of girly tears would make them budge. i had insufficient health insurance, and they sent me away with a 2 month extension and instructions to get new (twice as expensive) insurance and bring back that paperwork on january 19th. and hopefully when i go back in january, everything else will be fine and i will be able to get my goddamn piece of paper in my passport. ass monkeys
i would also like to remind you that if you, or a friend of yours is dreaming about spending christmas and new years in this city, you should rent my room because it will be available (awesome fat kitty included) from december 7th- january 7th. you will rent my room....you will give me your money.....
heres the view from my window. it gets dark at 4pm now. thats so depressing. and the way my cat snores really scares me
merlin is by far the best show, my favorite show ever, everything i could possible dream about in an escape from reality, and im so grateful to the bbc for creating such a masterpiece. and now i want to go back to cornwall and glastonbury even more...(i watched the entire first season right before i went the first time in july)
doing my "pre-reading" and studying for when i go back to school is harder than i imagined because now i am forced to develop firm stances on things that i could never decide upon. and im discovering new theories that just completely throw me for a loop and make me rethink everything. i spend all of my free time reading things that make my mind go in circles. its exciting and frustrating at the same time. i wonder if being a libra will be my defeat or my triumph
how much direct action do i need to be taking to get what i want in life, and how much will be done on its own?
im thinking a lot about my family and how i just cant wait to see them in 4 weeks. i cant believe it will have been almost a year and half since ive been gone. ive never gone that long without seeing my family. i mean, after a while you start to lose track of how much time actually goes by and it doesnt seem like that long. it really hasnt been that hard for me. but when i really think about it, it HAS been a fucking long time. im not even going to recognize my little sister. and i feel like everyone else will look pretty different too. and i wonder how i will look to them, if i will look older, or ..wiser mwahaha. anyways, i cant wait to see my baby boo
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|05:14 pm] |
wow just watching this video for the first time and its exactly what i had imagined in my head whenever i listen to this song. that has never happened before!
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| zanger bob |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|02:29 pm] |
i just found this attack attack parody video and then was thrust into a whole new magical world of "zanger bob"
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|04:08 pm] |
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i did not get my visa, and my job is over a week late paying me AGAIN. ready to kill |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 1st, 2009|09:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  scared shitless | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ramones- pet semetary | ] |
i managed to enjoy myself on halloween despite being plagued by fears of my visa office appointment. a bunch of friends came over all dressed up and we cooked a crap load of (vegan) food.. hot dogs, pizzas, pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, brownies, cookies, pumpkin waffles...and made ourselves sick while watching drag me to hell, the exorcist, (i dont wanna be buried in a) pet semetary, and house of 1000 corpses. i couldnt get my stupid remote to work so we had to watch pet semetary and 1000 corpses in german. pretty entertaining actually
this picture of jadwiga is hilarious
and heres me with my mooninite
right now im getting all of my paperwork ready for tomorrow...d-day...in about 12 hours i will know the answer to the question thats been driving me insane for the past month. will i be allowed to stay in berlin, or will i have to go back to the US? stay tuned to find out |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 28th, 2009|05:47 pm] |
these are not dick enlargers
-guitar
-drum sticks
-mic
-skateboard
-snowboard |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|07:59 pm] |
one of my favorite songs just came on my itunes and it just struck this chord and i really felt the need to write down this memory i have with this song. i had just turned 22...new york city was still new and exciting to me... my roommates and i went to morrissey night at sway every monday down in the lower east side. this was another monday night, and nicollette had befriended a scottish couple who happened to be visiting for the week. i didnt talk to them much because i was dancing the whole night. as the after hours started to creep in and the bar emptied out...nicollette and her two friends were at the bar chatting away and i was left on my own to wander about. finally i gave up and went to take a seat next to the others who had given up dancing for the night. as soon as i sat down, "eye in the sky" by the alan parsons project came on. (this has been a favorite of mine since my dad gave me the cassette tape when i was 8). i was so shocked to hear it come on, i jumped up screaming "i love this song!!" i got ready to make my way to the empty dance floor and have one last dance..with myself. and the scottish guy said "ill dance with you!" me: "really?? fuck yea lets go!" and we went out there by ourselves...while his girlfriend chatted away with nicollette and i kept thinking "i hope she doesnt get mad at me" and "he is so dreamy...despite the cigarette in his left hand." he wore dress pants, a slightly opened collared shirt and a dress jacket over it...nothing i like but at that moment it was so right and he made it work so well. i just happened to be wearing a dress that night and it flowed so beautifully as we danced and twirled around each other, never touching..at that perfect distance where we were really dancing, for real. and he danced SO well. it was so perfect, so cinematic, and i kept hanging on to ever chord, every lyric... never wanting that song to end.
after that, the dj closed up shop, we went back and found the others and then went home. we were supposed to hang out again while they were visiting...i dont remember what happened, i think nicollette lost the number or something. so we never saw them again. i dont even remember his name. all i remember is that one perfect moment. like it wasnt even real, just a dream. but that dream becomes so vivid and clear again, every time i hear this song
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|11:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | hell | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | nervous | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nofx- falling in love | ] |
im going out of my fucking mind. i cant believe only a week has passed..its been the longest week ever..and i still have 2 more to go. and what pisses me off the most is that this is my favorite month..everything is so pretty and colorful and halloween is coming up soon. but i cant enjoy it because im too busy racking my brain over something i have absolutely no control over at this point. how do i keep my mind off of it?? i read all day long...study...but it doesnt really help. im trying to remember what it was like last year, and i wonder if this time around its better or actually more stressful. i guess its the same..i dunno. because just like this time last year, i have absolutely no motivation to leave the house or hang out with friends. just stay in my room...read...watch law and order..repeat.
last year at the old apartment i had the heavy wooden blinds on the windows that kept all light out of my room when they were pulled down. i would stay up all night, till 7am when alex was getting up for work..watching episodes of the wonder years and daria on youtube..and then i would try to get through a little bit of war and peace, which around the middle of book 1 always succeeded in making me pass the fuck out. ( i must have redone that section a million times.) i would then sleep all day...my room staying dark the whole time because of the heavy blinds. then stay up all night, eating whole boxes of cereal and watching tv again. i guess at least i dont have to camp outside the visa office in the freezing cold again.
fuck i need to go to sleep so i can get up and work in the morning. how can i keep my sanity until november 2nd?? i wish david was still here :( other david comes on friday for a week...i guess he can help me by cooking me lots of awesome food every day :) gahhhhh. goodnight |
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| edit |
[Oct. 17th, 2009|03:40 pm] |
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i have never felt more like have no control over my immediate future than i do right now |
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| gleep glop glorp |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|01:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | queen latifah- u.n.i.t.y. | ] |
i hate the feeling that comes at the end of a good visit from someone i care about...from an old friend, love or family member.. even if the visit is only a day or two, i develop an attachment...and after the person leaves, i feel like my other half is gone. i say goodbye, go back to my house..and everything is as it was before, empty..that lonely sinking feeling comes into my chest, and i sit on my bed and i think "ok, they're gone..its so quiet...what do i do now?" i struggle hard but finally find the motivation to go back to my daily real world routine with my responsibilities and my struggles.. and soon it feels normal again
right now im looking for that motivation. i have to do work, and i have to get my fucking shit together for the visa office. i was just reminded yesterday that i am supposed to be working for more than one company in order to be a freelancer...that completely escaped my mind this whole past year and so ive only been working for the one company because i make enough money just doing that. but yea..we will see what they say about that. ughhhhhhhhhhh. i feel totally exhausted right now. falling asleep as i type this |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2009|05:18 pm] |
exactly
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DAVIDS HERE!
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2009|01:34 pm] |
i love you
im getting nervous because its almost time to renew my visa- i have one month to try to get approved by the tax office and get all appropriate paperwork. it sucks that i have to worry about this during my favorite time of the year, with this beautiful fall weather! argghh. ive started doing waiter jobs at the u.s. ambassadors house (mansion) for special dinner events. maybe if i get rejected by the visa office he will help me get one. hes from jersey. im working a ton right now. i went from not working at all during the summer to pretty much doing nothing but work. i hope i get my visaaaa.
zach from ny is living here right now. i cant wait to eat some pizza. i played singstar at my friends house the other day...the karaoke of rock band.
for my 26th i got arthritis in my hip and a facercise dvd! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2009|01:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crampy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | lady gaga- paparazzi remix | ] |
i started a new blog project on animal welfare...im hoping over the next few years it will turn into something notable for my law school app- right now theres obviously not much happening but go check it out and comment and help me pick up some momentum so i can get people to want to do interviews for me! AND it would be great if you ever wanted to contribute anything like an opinion essay on any animal related topic...or if you know people who would make good interview candidates. right now my first interview will be an animal trainer- specifically a trainer at a birds of prey center. got any questions you want me to ask her? let me know!!!!!! thanks and may god save us all from the firey pits of hell
http://animaldebate.com/
http://animaldebate.com/
http://animaldebate.com/
http://animaldebate.com/ |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2009|08:19 pm] |
my two germany heroes
nena for this:
die ärzte for these:
danke schön |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2009|04:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | die ärzte- für immer | ] |
visit the store tromso next to our house for all of your designer nazi clothes needs. dont mind the tar thats been splattered all over the outside by those silly antifascists ;)
real update soon. too lazy right now. heres a video of my new favorite german band
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| year one recap |
[Aug. 15th, 2009|02:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | die ärzte- teenagerliebe | ] |
yesterday marked my one year anniversary of being in berlin. i wont say too much except i miss my family, friends, and old coworkers, but i also love this city and i can see myself staying here for maybe 3 or 4 more years. ...that is if i can get my visa renewed in november dun dun dunnnn. the pics below are some of my favorites recapping things that have happened this year. and also behind the cut there are some new ones that i just hadnt posted yet, and pictures of my dads visit.
baltic sea
cornish coastline, king arthurs birthplace
eating a ritter sport on abbey road
eating a ritter sport in the austrian alps
eating best vegan gelato of my life in rome
czech republic
airport layovers
holocaust memorial
anti-nazi riot on my street after some nazis curbed somebody
me and heather camping out to get my visa in the freezing cold
european crotch fashion
i missed my sisters pre-school graduation in florida
beautiful evening in the hood
some of my favorite students on their last day of class, with the muffins i made for them
bike ride home
new friends
the wall in winter
christmas market
new years rooftop
reunited with an old high school friend
scottish tourists
my first roommate and the best vegan cupcake ive ever had
german keg stands
german ads
walking sammy in the park
( click here for the other pics ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2009|04:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | blonde redhead- for the damaged | ] |
this post is for ronnie! and is dedicated to her since she is coming to visit in 2 wks AND is bringing me some new macbeths! i cant fucking wait. i havent updated in forever because we had a massive hail storm 3 weeks ago and i am still without internet. but a lot has happened...my dad came to visit, and i went to fluff fest. ill post some fest pictures now and post other pics of my dads visit later.
i drove with a bunch of kids to a small town just outside of prague and we camped for 3 days in this airfield for the fluff fest which is this hardcore vegan straight edge music fest and we ate a ton of vegan food, danced our asses off at the shitty euro disco dance after parties, watched awesome movies, saw friends play, reuinted with friends from all over europe,etc etc. i wish it was more than once a year. the only shitty thing and i do mean shitty..is the gnarly port-o-potties we had to use, in the complete dark bc there were no lights anywhere on the airfield at night. using my cell phone for light...and there was shit everywhere in them and plus i got my period the fucking first day we were there!!and our tent got flooded one day too because of the rain. extreme camping!!!
here are some pics. click on any of them to go to the whole album on flickr
the pimp wagon
morning showers
shredding up some vegan gnargnar
disco!
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|12:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | kamelot- abandoned | ] |
i just got back from my england "king arthur" trip and it was the scariest and most adventurous thing ive ever done. it was insane. i was by myself on a quest to find all of these hidden locations...i rented a car and i have calluses on my hands from gripping the steering wheel so tightly. and the car rental place didnt even have a gps system so i had to rely on my google maps i printed out and a shitty road atlas to find these places that were literally in the middle of nowhere. considering i was trying to read maps and drive on the left side of the road and going to really desolate places, it would have definitely been smarter to have someone with me. but it was just that much more of an exciting adventure!
my credit card got rejected from enterprise car rental due to "suspicious spending" even though i called my credit card company and told them id be in england using my card. i called the company and got them to lift the block but enterprise said their credit card machines put a block on for 24 hours after a card gets rejected so i couldnt rent the car until the next day. i spent 3 hours fighting with them & finally i convinced them to print out a credit card statement proving i had money, and then they would just charge my card the next day. as soon as i leave the rental place i got lost for another hour, just trying to get out of the town and onto a highway. then i finally get on the highway, and go the wrong way and spend another hour trying to figure out how to get OFF the highway and go the other direction. but every highway leads to another one and i get more and more off track. finally i get on the right direction and head out to cornwall, encountering tiny rocky roads barely wide enough for me to fit let alone another car in the opposite direction...on steep hills..with people speeding around them like maniacs.
well, the best part was being able to sing as loud as i wanted to my epic "england" playlist on my ipod while enjoying the beautiful view of endless magical countryside. the worst part was the roundabouts. i read about them before i left...but i didnt realize they would be EVERYWHERE. i thought maybe one or two. but yea..they are everywhere, highways and small towns.
this was my route:
1. CRAWLEY: right outside of gatwick airport, where i picked up the rental
2. TINTAGEL CASTLE AND SLAUGHTERBRIDGE: both located in tintagel, cornwall. the castle is the supposed birthplace of arthur. and below the castle ruins, merlins cave. i stayed in a hobbit house on a cliff overlooking the ocean. slaughterbridge is the location of arthur and mordreds fatal battle, and king arthur's stone.
3. ROCHE ROCK: located in roche, the castle of ogrin the ogre who gave tristan and isolde (iseult) refuge from her husband king mark. i got so lost and pulled into a dirt field to look at map again. i looked to my left and i saw the huge pile of ruins! pure luck is how i ended up finding some of these places. and the castle was surrounded by a field of thorns..but somehow i dug through a little ways and managed to find a small dirt path to get me to the castle..where i climbed a couple rusty ladders to get to the top of the inside since the stairs had all been destroyed. so awesome!!!!
4. ST MICHAELS MOUNT: a tidal island that houses a castle and chapel and is only passable on foot by man-made causeway at low tide. i had to take a motorboat to get to the island.
5. DOZMARY POOL: located in bodmin moor, it is where the lady of the lake emerged with excalibur
6. GLASTONBURY TOR AND GLASTONBURY ABBEY: both located in glastonbury. the tor is on a huge hill that was once surrounded by water and was supposed to have been the hidden magic island "avalon" where vivian lived and where king arthur was taken to die. the abbey was burned down and lies in ruins but it is home to the grave of arthur and guinevere.
7. STONEHENGE: my original plan was to go to the summer solstice fest, which is where a bunch of druids and pagans and stoners gather to celebrate the longest day of the year and are allowed to go inside the stones to watch the sunrise. but enterprise wouldnt let me return my car on a sunday so i ended up not being able to go. i met some kids at my hostel that was on a farm about 10 min away from stonehenge. they were there down from scotland to go to the festival. we went over to the stones the night before the fest to watch the sunset and there were already a bunch of hippies with their rv's parked out on the side of the road waiting for the cops to start letting people into the center of the stone.
8. LONDON: returned the car and took the train to london. i went to windsor castle, the tower of london (where anne boleyn and jane grey and countless others were held prisoner and executed. definitely the coolest thing i did, there were prisoner carvings on the dungeon walls with names and dates (see my pictures) and theres totally a ghost in one of my pictures of a dark long hallway. and that night blood red clouds hung over the tower. next day i met with andrea, an old friend and we went on a tour boat ride, went to the prime meridian, brick lane to get food, and then to abbey road.
you can click on any of the pics to go to my flickr album
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leirza's journal